A Tea Party with Willy Wonka
by Mephiles454
Summary: Jervis introduces his best friend to his childhood hero.


**In memory of Gene Wilder (June 11, 1933-August 29, 2016)**

 **Rest in Peace, Willy Wonka, as you ride off into the heavens in your magic elevator. Thank you so much for inspiring so many people with your pure imagination.**

 **P.S. This takes place three years before Dance of the Crane.**

Jonathan Crane knocked on the door to the Mad Hatter's Haberdashery, his foot tapping impatiently on the cobblestone sidewalk, his arms crossed and an impatient scowl on his lips. He was in disguise today, a red, fake mustache taped between his nose and lips, with Snap-On sunglasses covering his glasses, and a grey trench coat covering his costume from prying eyes.

 _This had better be good,_ he thought grouchily, waiting for the Hatter to answer the door. He had just been on a verge of a breakthrough in providing a new, more potent form of his fear toxin when he was snapped out of his concentration by the loud ringing of the emergency phone he kept in his lab. When he finally picked it up, he could barely understand what the Hatter was saying, he was talking so fast. What he could make out, however, once he had gotten his bearings again, was that he had a surprise to show him.

The door opened, and out popped the head of Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter himself, as he grinned excitedly at the Master of Fear, his smile wider than the Cheshire Cat's. "Ah, March Hare, you've finally arrived. Come in. Come in," he said hurriedly, practically pulling the tall man inside as he shut the door with an excitable slam.

"Alright, Tetch, you'd better have a really good reason why you called me down here," Crane growled.

The Hatter eyes glittered with excitement, hopping up and down on his feet in excitement. "Oh, I do, my dear friend. I do, indeed. And now with you here, the party can finally start." Taking his arm, he dashed towards the back of the room, his free hand opening door after door as he practically yanked Crane along with him.

The Scarecrow yelped, trying to keep up with the excitable man. "Jervis, slow down!" he cried, trying to keep himself from falling on top of the smaller man as the two made their way down below, finally coming up to a set of double doors.

With a flourish, the Victorian-dressed man flung open the doors. "Ta-Da!" he exclaimed, gesturing towards the elderly man sitting at the tea table. The man had curly, white hair, a bit untidy from his sudden kidnapping. His face had several wrinkles near his eyes and forehead, betraying his advanced age. Kind sky blue eyes peered quizzically at the eccentric top-hat wearing man, his gnarled hands gripping the white tea-cup tightly, despite that his arms were bound with rope right up to his elbows.

Crane raised an eyebrow at his friend's exaggerated antics. "Okay, who did you kidnap this time?"

Jervis looked shocked, as if the man had just slapped him. "Don't you know who this is?"

Scarecrow shook his head. "No. Should I?"

Jervis's excited smile was back, as he dragged his friend towards the table. "Jonathan, I would like you to meet my childhood idol, Mr. Gene Wilder!" he shouted, gesturing once again to the man, who looked quite nervously at the two as he sipped at his tea.

Crane gave the Hatter a look that said _Are you serious?_ before he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Jervis, why did you kidnap Willy Wonka?"

The Hatter bounced happily into his seat, pouring himself a bit of tea. "Well, I just so happened to pass by the Penguin's museum when I spotted a flyer that advertised him reading books to children in the library this afternoon. So, I decided I'd take him a little out of his way so he could come to my tea party." He turned to his guest, holding out the pitcher of tea. "More tea, Mr. Wilder?"

The man nodded quickly, anxiously looking at the Tetch's hand as he filled the porcelain cup, never taking his eyes off the man as he returned to his seat.

"Jervis, did it ever occur to you that maybe you could have just stood in line and waited to talk with him after the signing was over like everyone else?" he said in exasperation, still not believing that his friend could be childish enough to not think this through.

Jervis waved away his complaint with a laugh. "Oh, pish tosh, Jonathan. That would be no fun. Right, Mr. Wilder?" he said, looking expectantly at his guest, creepy smile still plastered on his face like he was going to eat the man instead of dine with him.

Wilder nodded quickly, letting out a soft "R-Right" as Jervis turned away, silently pleading with the man across from him to free him from this madman.

Jonathan sighed, shaking his head. He really did not want to deal with this. "Look, Jervis, just let the man go. You don't want Batman to take you back to Arkham, do you?"

"B-But, Mr. Wilder…" Jervis stammered, his eyes starting to fill with tears as he looked between his friend and his hero.

"And you don't want to disappoint all those kids, do you?"

Jervis looked down. "No. But…"

"And I'm sure Mr. Wilder has a very busy schedule and you wouldn't want him to be late to his very important date, would you?" Crane said, knowing exactly what words to say to convince the Hatter to let the man go.

Jervis sighed sadly, kicking at the ground. "Alright, I guess you have a point. I'll let him go," he murmured resignedly, not knowing the relieved look that his hero was giving the Scarecrow as he started untying his bonds. "But can I ask him something before he goes?"

Jonathan shrugged. "That's up to him to decide."

Jervis turned expectantly to his idol, his baby blue eyes pleading.

Wilder looked from the Hatter to the Scarecrow and back again, before finally letting out a tired sigh and nodded.

Jervis smiled softly, taking off his hat in reverence as he said something he had longed to say ever since he was a little boy back in England. "Mr. Wilder, may I have your autograph?"

The elderly man nodded.

The Hatter beamed, his eyes twinkling with joy as he pulled out his copy of the Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie and his VHS tape of the 1999 Alice in Wonderland made-for-TV movie he had recorded from his TV when it had first aired on NBC.

With a small smile at the man, Gene Wilder signed his name on both the movie and the tape, his signature bringing a tearful smile from the top hatted man as he hugged him, taking the elderly man by surprise before he lightly patted the Hatter's hat.

When he was escorted out of the building by the Scarecrow, he only looked behind him to utter a small "Thanks," to the two men before hobbling on his way.

This would certainly be a day he would never forget.


End file.
